‘RHOA’ Recap Season 17, Ep. 7: Dynasty, Diamonds, and Drama
If the ultimate episode of the Dallas journey exhibits us something, it is that our girls are firmly divided into two teams. This time, it isn’t the Talls versus the Smalls however the Peaches versus the Plums, with half the group faltering at being a Real Housewife. The most shocking Plum for me is Okay. Michelle, however it’s a disappointment that makes me really perceive why Dame Moylan’s Eileen Davidson Accords are one of many three official guidelines of the Housewives Institute.
Okay. charmed me in her first 4 episodes, however by the fifth, which is funnily precisely when the Accords go into impact, I caught a whiff of some issues that I did not love. Most egregious was her option to not attend dinner with out glam (I like how the Peaches confirmed up near barefaced at breakfast; it felt like a refined message to Okay. that it is okay to not take herself so critically). However, her declaration on the bus trip to Dallas that she wished her husband had social media so it could be simpler to catch him dishonest had me elevating an eyebrow. While I did not discover it value noting then, I now see that her assertion is indicative of an virtually obsessive paranoia that absolutely develops tonight as she reacts to imagined “plots” and “takedowns” towards her that by no means actually happen.
It begins within the Sprinter van as Kelli and Porsha’s argument continues, using a wave that begins with hostile lesbian accusations — in line with P, after the Grenada journey final season, Kelli caught a glimpse of Porsha’s kitty cat and declared she wished a style — and ends with the group’s collective appreciation for the rose vibrator. The whiplash from Kelli’s assaults about scorching chili-cheese pussy (possibly this insult hit too near residence, however extra on that later) to joking about vibrators proved to be an excessive amount of for Okay. Michelle, who asks the group in disbelief, “So y’all really just tag into each other’s ass, and then, next moment, it’s all good?” Well, sure, Okay. That’s precisely what we’re doing and have been doing for nearly twenty years.
Once at dinner, Okay. Michelle cannot fairly shake off the volatility of the argument. She sees them in her seat as the opposite ladies joke and make innuendos concerning the oysters whereas Porsha smells them for freshness because the group’s knowledgeable on sapphic references. Drew calls out Okay.’s moodiness, asking why her power is off. Okay. admits to what she’s been harboring for the previous couple of episodes, saying she’s bothered as a result of Drew “keeps” (it occurred twice) mentioning that she is aware of Blakk. Okay. is upset at any insinuation that she’s romantically linked to the person, though Drew has by no means mentioned that. It’s the primary case of K’s creativeness working wild — Drew did not imply “know” within the biblical sense of the phrase; she simply acknowledged that Blakk and Okay. are mutuals, maybe as a segue to get to know her new co-star higher.
Okay. Michelle reiterates how she would not know Blakk, however then within the subsequent sentence, she explains that she does know him by way of Instagram DMs. She’s so caught up in a hypothetical “gotcha” second that she’s unable to see the inconsistency in her personal phrases. Meanwhile, Drew would not care concerning the DMs, reminding the group that he is technically single. Despite clearing up the miscommunication with Drew, Okay. Michelle continues spiraling into the subsequent morning. During breakfast, she is available in moping, sucking the power out of the room. She breaks down, tearfully saying, “If I know that a motherfucker is sitting there plotting my hurt, I’m not gonna smile in your face.” The group tries to console her, though nobody is aware of what she’s speaking about. They attempt to pry it out of her gently, however Okay. retains rambling, saying, “You know who you are!” Do they?
Porsha urges Okay. to determine exactly what or who’s triggering her whereas assuring her that she’ll have her again because the one who introduced her into the group. Okay. simply sits in her tears earlier than calling the nameless perpetrator a “low-down motherfucker,” prompting Porsha to right away stand up from her aspect, pissed off by the riddles. In her confessional, Okay. lastly explains what is going on on — properly, occurring inside her head, as a result of actually none of this really occurred on-camera. Okay. states that she heard from the streets of Atlanta that Drew, Porsha, and Phaedra are plotting her takedown and intend to take action by insinuating that she canoodled with Blakk and mentioning a rumor that her coochie stinks. Yes, you learn that proper. Okay. Michelle believes the explanation Porsha joked about smelling the oysters was to reference a five-year-old assertion from certainly one of Okay.’s exes about her vaginal hygiene. Mind you, not a single individual onscreen talked about this rumor, however as I mentioned earlier than, Okay. is obsessive about discovering a “gotcha” second earlier than the second can discover her. No one was speaking about her va-jay-jay till she introduced it up herself, and now, sadly, I’ve “K. Michelle vagina smell” in my browser historical past.
I do not know which messy individual in Atlanta gave Okay. Michelle this data — she says “someone” known as her after dinner, telling her concerning the “plot” — however it’s giving Monique in season 5 of RHOP being so paranoid concerning the rumor relating to her son’s paternity that she outed it herself. Okay.’s breakdown utterly erodes the already outstanding fissure within the group, formally drawing a line within the sand between those that intrinsically know tips on how to be a Housewife and those that are cosplaying as one. They break up into their two factions for a debrief, with the Peaches (Porsha, Angela, Phaedra, Drew, and Cynthia) going upstairs and the Plums (Okay., Kelli, Pinky, and Shamea) going exterior, an ideal metaphor for these safe in the home of Bravo and those that are attempting to get in.
Outside, Okay. Michelle identifies particular names to the opposite Plums whereas manufacturing offers a shady edit, hilariously dramatizing the oyster footage with music that matches her paranoia. Inside, the Peaches are merely confused, with even Angela, the resident bone collector, commenting that digging into the specifics of this bone is above her pay grade. But they’re sensible sufficient to drag up Okay.’s Twitter for solutions since that is the one area she appears to talk freely. Of course, there’s an ominous put up from proper earlier than breakfast that reads, “If it takes a group, plot, a rumor or scheme to bring me down when I am coming in love, you already lost in the game and lost in life.” The mania continues in Okay.’s confessionals, the place she takes nasty photographs at Go Naked Hair and emphasizes that her vagina has been snipped and tucked within the years since her ex made that assertion. Good grief, lady! Give it (each the state of affairs and her vagina) a relaxation!
The Peaches conclude that the circumstances are a results of groupthink among the many Plums and that Okay. Michelle is feeding off of Shamea’s disdain for Porsha and Drew. The Plums come to the same conclusion in reverse, believing it is the Peaches who collude and plot on behalf of Porsha. With fingers hilariously pointing at one another, the parallel epiphanies show that the crux of this divide is merely a proxy conflict between Shamea and Porsha.
Shamea can really feel aspect eyes from enemy territory, and Angela already known as her out for her stank faces at breakfast, so earlier than the women head to Cynthia’s gala for her tequila, she requires a gathering. An excellent Real Housewife would save these grievances for the gala to create a memorable full-glam climax for the journey, but Shamea is a Plum, not a Peach, so she desires to verify her thong bikini will get display time (Cynthia mentioned it was like sitting beneath two ass cheeks). She begins the dialog with “I’m not going to let people plot, plan, and manipulate,” earlier than telling them to not make her the autumn individual simply because they do not like her. Then, Shamea opens the ground to Okay. to additional articulate herself in order that she’s not concerned.
Okay. Michelle continues her tirade with out naming anybody, then retains kicking the useless horse about Blakk. Despite Drew reassuring Okay. that she by no means advised something untoward about their relationship, Okay. begins to really lose it, screaming and puffing up her chest. Soon, Chi-town Drew emerges, and the 2 ladies get out of their seats with their heads bobbing and phrases flying. Drew steps away from the state of affairs, though the dialog continues as the women lastly talk about how Shamea and Porsha’s falling-out rippled by way of the group and that Shamea believes Drew and Angela are considerably accountable for the demise of the connection. I believe it comes right down to Shamea being upset she could not have her cake and eat it too. Last season, she wished to have the ability to speak shit about Porsha whereas nonetheless gaining access to the clout from their relationship, however Drew and Angela threw a wrench in her plan by forcing her hand.
Cynthia takes again management of her journey by defusing Shamea and Angela’s argument earlier than sending the women off to glam to allow them to head to her gala. Once once more, Mother Cynthia injects much-needed luxurious into RHOAbecoming the women with costly jewels on mortgage from an eccentric outdated white man, dripping with diamonds and shrouded in a crocodile-skin Birkin, to enhance their Dynasty-inspired outfits. The result’s so extravagant that the ladies require a safety escort to the occasion. Although a passing hurricane strikes the outside gala inside, it would not make a dent in Cynthia’s plans. They march inside with their jewels gleaming, able to help their mom hen. Cynthia whips out certainly one of her signature shady video games, having the women compete for a “Tequila Queen” crown. However, studying a lesson or two from Ultimate Girls Trip, she has your entire forged share the tiara. It’s an effective way to unite the ladies after a visit crammed with division, though anybody can predict that after they get again to Atlanta, the chasm will develop as soon as once more.
