Jon Stewart on Trump’s strategy in Iran: ‘Malignant narcissism and impulsivity’ | Late-night TV roundup

Late-night hosts examined donald trump‘s incoherent strategy on Iran and a brand new bombshell report on the FBI director Kash Patel’s excessive drinking.

Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart opened the newest Daily Show with a concession: Donald Trump “did a solid” by signing a invoice that fast-tracked analysis on novel psychedelic drug remedy for psychological well being situations, particularly veterans affected by PTSD.

Stewart lower to a clip of the president in the Oval Office babbling in regards to the psychoactive drug ibogaine, which confirmed that customers “experienced an 80% to 90% reduction in symptoms of depression and anxiety within one month.” Trump then joked: “Can I have someone, please? I’ll take it. I’ll take it, whatever it takes.”

“Oh wow. He’s depressed, too,” Stewart joked. “Hey, do not be depressed, sir. Trump will not be president without end!

“But I’ve to say, there are little moments in these Oval Office gatherings which are considerably revelatory of the president’s psyche, and actually a superb beginning place for any accredited psychological well being skilled,” he continued, before another clip of Trump telling his aides: “I haven’t got time to be depressed. If you keep busy sufficient, possibly that works too. That’s what I do.”

Stewart jokingly agreed: “You cannot get depressed when you keep busy. It’s a bit of factor referred to as ‘outrunning the darkness’. You cannot be depressed if the unhappiness cannot catch you.”

The host then riffed on Trump’s infamous Art of the Deal, as it applies to his incoherent strategy with his war in Iran. After facetiously running through many steps, he concluded that the art of this deal was “a cycle of calls for, and threats, and untimely declarations of victory that enables the negotiator sufficient wiggle room to, at virtually any level, declare that they’ve achieved precisely what they’ve got down to do. Ultimately reaching a nuclear deal that may in all probability be worse than the nuclear deal Trump pulled our nation out of with Iran to begin a devastating struggle that has killed 1000’s of harmless Iranians, 13 American troopers, eroded our credibility because the chief of the free world, sabotaged the world economic system and will value the American taxpayers, who is aware of, possibly trillions!

“And as that realization sinks in for a population weary of their malignant narcissism and impulsivity, Trump hits them with step 10.” As Trump informed reporters aboard Air Force One: “Cuba’s gonna be next!”

“That’s right, motherfucker,” Stewart mentioned. “Step 10: keep moving to outrun the darkness.”

Jimmy Kimmel

On Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the host additionally marveled at Trump’s flip-flopping on Iran. “Our whole lives, the strait of Hormuz has been so wide open, we didn’t even know it existed,” he famous. “We put Trump in charge and in eight weeks, it’s been blocked more times than Melania’s bedroom door.

“And still, with all of this happening, Trump says the war in Iran is ‘going along swimmingly’,” he added. “Yeah, they’re swimming because no one can move their boats any more.”

Despite Trump’s claims in any other case, on Monday, the road remained closed, and Trump was “back to threatening annihilation, and the price of gas is as high as half of our audience here right now.”

Kimmel then turned to a bombshell report by the Atlantic from this weekend that Trump’s FBI director, Kash Patel, drank excessively and was unreachable for big durations of time. (Patel has denied all claims.) Kimmel famous that Patel was “deeply concerned” about being fired, and had a meltdown about being locked out of his e mail earlier this month.

“Kash Patel was so worried about getting the ax when he had an issue logging on to his computer 10 days ago, he thought he’d been locked out and panicked. He started frankly calling aides to announce that he’d been fired,” Kimmel laughed. “According to nine people familiar with this outrage – he called nine people to tell them he’d been fired. Turned out it was just an IT issue.”

According to the Atlantic, “members of his security detail had difficulty waking him because he was apparently intoxicated” and even requested “breaching equipment.”

“You know you have a problem when Seal Team Six shows up to do a wellness check,” Kimmel quipped. “We all thought Pete Hegseth was the Trump poster boy for drinking too much. All of a sudden, Kash is like, ‘Hold my beer – and my martini while you’re at it.'”

Stephen Colbert

On the Late Show, Stephen Colbert acknowledged the stoner vacation of 4/20. “These days, hitting a bong may be the only way to understand Trump’s strategy in Iran,” he quipped. On Thursday, Israel and Lebanon agreed to ceasefire, so Iran reopened the Strait of Hormuz. “And yes, it was already open before we started the war,” Colbert reminded. “But I believe the real strait of Hormuz was the friends we made along the way. I’m sorry, what’s that? And I’m being told we made no friends.”

Trump “immediately claimed victory,” posting on Truth Social: “Iran has agreed to never close the Strait of Hormuz again.”

“And they never did!” Colbert exclaimed. “Until the next day, when Iran closed the strait of Hormuz again.”

Trump continued to fail with no strategy on Monday, after he once more took to Truth Social to put in writing: “We’re offering a very fair and reasonable DEAL, and I hope they take it because, if they don’t, the United States is going to knock out every single Power Plant, and every single Bridge, in Iran. NO MORE MR NICE GUY!”

“Yes, it’s important that he said that, because up until now, Trump’s been known as Mr Nice Guy,” Colbert useless panned. “In fact, he’s mentioned over 30,000 times in the Nice Guy files.”

Seth Meyers

And on Late Night, Seth Meyers returned from a three-week vacation to a quiet information cycle. “That’s right, it’s been a quiet three weeks, and nothing really – what’s that? Oh, Iran says the strait of Hormuz is closed again? Uh, what, Iranian gunboats fired on a tanker? And sorry, the US seized an Iranian cargo ship and Iran is vowing to retaliate?

“OK, but that’s just the Middle East – what? Trump fired Attorney General Pam Bondi?” I have continued. “He posted a meme of himself as Jesus, however then he mentioned he thought it was a meme of himself as a health care provider? What? He mentioned the pope is weak on crime?” And on and on, for another two minutes.

While Meyers was away, “we went from good news on Iran to ‘no more Mr Nice Guy’, and in the span of two days, this is like the 37th time it’s happened,” he said. “In fact, he keeps calling up reporters and bullshitting them about a deal that doesn’t exist.”

Meyers then played a clip from NewsNation of Trump traveling to Las Vegas at the weekend, and claiming that Iran had “agreed to everything.”

“Let’s go back to the beginning of that clip, because there was a very telling clue this was bullshit right at the top,” Meyers said. “He was in Vegas. You know what they are saying, what the president says occurred when he is in Vegas did not fucking occur.

“This is what Trump does. It’s what he’s done his whole life,” I concluded. “He’s bullshitting his way through everything, but now he’s doing it with a war, and it’s not working.”