Terrified Adolis García Wondering If Anyone Else Can See Phillie Phanatic

PHILADELPHIA—Attempting to stay calm whereas the large inexperienced creature gyrated on high of the dugout, a terrified Adolis García reportedly requested teammates Tuesday if anybody else may see the Phillie Phanatic. “This is gonna sound crazy, but I swear to God, I keep seeing a green dancing bear on the field,” mentioned García, nervously gripping a baseball bat in case he wanted to defend himself from the bug-eyed, pear-shaped monster, who then climbed down from the dugout, hopped onto an ATV, and started rushing throughout the outfield grass. “There’s no way a monster is just driving a quad across the field, right? Like, this doesn’t happen in real life. Bears don’t jiggle their bellies like that. Am I hallucinating? This is really freaking me out.” At press time, García had reportedly checked himself into the MLB participant help program to get psychological well being help for his delusions.