The 152 Best Horse Names in Kentucky Derby History
What do you mean, you’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name? You had an opportunity to name a horse and just didn’t? That’s super messed up. You could’ve named it something cool, like Nectar or D’Brickashaw or Drew Carey. Honestly, you mean to tell me you rode through an entire desert, nothing to do but think, and didn’t vacate the sand with a handle for the animal doing all the work? Skill issue, as far as I’m concerned. Loser behavior. America can kiss my ass.
I know almost nothing about horse racing. I know about Secretariat. I know about Seabiscuit. I know about Seabiscuit. I know about Mystik Dan and American Pharoah and Big Brown. I know that jockeys wear wildly patterned Technicolor silks. I know people bet on it. Beyond that, my horse racing knowledge is extremely limited. I cannot tell you who will win the 2026 Kentucky Derby on Saturday. But I do know a good horse name when I hear one.
And throughout the 152 years of the most storied horse race in America there have been some very rad names. My assignment was straightforward: Rank the 152 best. To do so, I combed through the entire history of Kentucky Derby participants, adding every name that spoke to me in any way to a master list that ended up being 502 entries long. From there, I whittled that down to the 152 you’ll see here.
Horse names may seem simple, but they’re not. The Jockey Club—the group that retains The American Stud Book—has guidelines for naming Thoroughbreds. Names should be 18 characters or much less, and that features areas and punctuation. They can’t encompass solely numbers or solely initials. Numbers can be utilized, however provided that they’re above 30 and provided that they’re spelled out. Horses can’t be named after somebody who remains to be alive, except the namesake submits written permission to the Jockey Club instantly. For instance:
Dear Jockey Club,
Being of sound thoughts and physique, I, Paul Edward Valentine Giamatti, do hereby bequeath Gus and Party Stables Inc. my permission to call their new 2-year-old colt after me. I’ve seen the horse. He is gorgeous, and I like him.
Be straightforward,
Paul “Sex” Giamatti
The Jockey Club has extra guidelines. Owners can’t reuse names on the Jockey Club’s Permanent List and they don’t seem to be ready to make use of the identify of a horse at the moment energetic in racing or breeding. If a horse has gained a G1 in the previous 25 years, its identify is off-limits. Names can’t finish in numerical designations like 2nd, third, 4th, so on, however Jr. is OK, as you will note. Also unavailable to be used are names ending in stallion, colt, mare, stud, filly, or “any similar horse-related term.” I’m guessing meaning no go on pony, horsey, steed, nag, foal, and the extremely underrated bronco.
Under such strict parameters, naming a horse necessitates creativity. So what makes some names higher than others? It’s all very summary. The finest ones make you catch a spark. Whether a reputation tasks excessive pressure or is delicate and easy, you learn it and a light-weight flicks on. Some horse names attain for majesty. Others attain for the joke. Some are lengthy, some are quick, some rhyme, some imply one thing, some simply sound cool. And whereas appreciating names is an inexact and extremely subjective science, we established just a few floor guidelines for making this record, tailored from our earlier rating of the best NBA names of the quarter century.
- Success doesn’t matter. A horse’s end in this race or some other is irrelevant. This record shouldn’t be involved with whether or not a horse was quick when it counted, and it’s not involved with how cool it appeared. It doesn’t matter if the horse was fairly. I imply, it does. We love fairly horses, and, you recognize, the extra the merrier. We simply imply, inside the context of this undertaking, seems to be don’t matter. All that issues is the identify.
- Every a part of the identify is taken into consideration. First names, final names, honorifics, abbreviations, adjectives. Taken all collectively, is that this identify enjoyable to say? How cool does it sound? How cool does it look? How are the letters organized? Which ones are capitalized? Does it roll off the tongue? Is it humorous?
- Does it go the race announcer check? One of one of the best elements of any horse race is when the announcer says, voice rising, “And here comes so-and-so on the outside!” How does this identify sound in that particular context?
For the freaks like me who additionally get pleasure from horse names, there’ll certainly be names you like that don’t seem right here. My apologies to Vulcanite (fourth place in the 1919 Derby). I can’t overstate what number of completely different names may have made the ultimate record. But it’s like Solange said throughout press for Johnson Family Vacation: “Any decision I make is based on myself, and the only person I have to give an explanation to is God.”
Giddyup, let’s experience.
152. Sea Swallow
1945, Seventh Place
Seabiscuit’s son and, as evidenced by his seventh-place end, best disappointment. Sea Swallow tried to observe in his father’s hoof steps, and he failed. You may say, “But Seabiscuit never even ran the Kentucky Derby. Wouldn’t he just be proud of his boy for making it?”
Seabiscuit was an enormous fan of himself and notoriously egocentric. He by no means requested the opposite horses how they have been doing, what they have been as much as. It was all the time, “Yeah, anyway, my grandfather’s Man o’ War. Maybe you’ve heard of him?” And when Sea Swallow certified for the Derby, Seabiscuit checked out it as a method for some a part of him to lastly win the race he by no means bought to run.
Sea Swallow’s seventh-place end was excruciating. He lay in the steady and wept. His father left the observe with out saying a phrase. The two horses by no means spoke once more. Seabiscuit died a mere two years later.
151. My Dad George
1970, Second
A triumph of creativity. Ahead of its time. The sort of identify that will get higher the extra you consider it. [The announcer is screaming.] “And My Dad George is coming up on the outside.” George is an efficient identify for a dad. It’s not one of the best identify for a dad. It’s in all probability, like, thirty sixth on the record of father names. The Eleventh-best dad identify is Randy, and one of the best dad identify is Hank.
150. Tony Graff
1960, Seventh
One option to be sure to have a high-quality horse identify: If the identify sounds prefer it belongs to somebody who’s muscle for the mob, it’s a extremely good horse identify.
149. Bold Lad
1965, Tenth
I appeared for a very long time for a Boldy James bar that concerned a horse, however all I may discover was the primary verse on “Surf & Turf,” when Boldy says he’s hung like one.
148. Dust Commander
1970, First
Any animal that instructions all mud, of which there’s a lot, is extraordinarily highly effective and must be approached with reverence.
147. Pulpit
1997, Fourth
In the 1997 Robert Duvall tour de pressure The Apostle, Duvall performs a preacher on the run. He is transcendent. See Bobby D. onstage at the church, dancing in a cream go well with, wielding a C-note like Elvis with a shawl. He says “pulpit,” and it appears like “poolpit.” Walton Goggins is in the film dressed like an additional in Back to the Future. Enchantment Under the Red Sea, child. Short-circuit the satan. You guess your ass we bought Holy Ghost energy right here in the present day. What a loss.
146. On the Sly
1976, Fifth
“Sly” is one in every of our most underrated phrases. “Sly” is sly. The phrase each raises the identify’s ceiling and takes an under-the-radar deal with to the following degree.
145. Flying Mohawk
2025, 18th
One of these names that will get in your face and dares you to take a swing.
144. Fred Jr.
1927, Eighth
I do know what you’re pondering. Surely Fred Jr. was sired by a horse named Fred. He wasn’t. He was sired by a horse named Wildair. It in all probability goes with out saying, however had this horse been named simply “Fred,” it will have made a run on the high 10.
143. Perfect Bahram
1946, Ninth
Coincidentally, “Perfect Bahram” is my Letterboxd evaluation of the 1995 agrarian dramedy Babe. Sheep be true? You’re goddamn proper.
142. Millennium Wind
2001, Eleventh
One of the thrill of this job is the little morsels you unearth throughout analysis that you simply by no means would’ve believed in one million years. This identify really references the hum inside a PS2 that comes from the interior fan cooling down the console, and that’s not true however what if it have been?
141. Toro
1928, Third
Bull.
140. Woodchopper
1981, Second
Wood.
139. Dandy Ok.
1964, Eighth
Would’ve been wild if the horse in this spot have been named Bull Wood. But anyway, the primary time I learn this identify, I used to be bleary-eyed from combing by way of previous races late at night time and thought it stated Danity Kane. Those ladies deserved higher.
138. Falsetto
1879, Second
I do know a man who refuses to sing falsetto as a result of he says it’s for cowards. I disagree, nevertheless it’s essential to be goal and listen to either side out.
137. Ride on Curlin
2014, Seventh
Yeehaw. I contemplate it a significant plus if I principally do not know what the identify means. I perceive the vibe they’re making an attempt to ship, and I respect it.
136. Odd Fellow
1877, Sixth
Odd Fellow is admittedly good. It’s a disgrace, although, that they didn’t simplify the concept additional and name the horse Weird Guy.
135. Flashy Bull
2006, 14th
Fun to consider a flashy bull. Chandeliers hanging off the horns, pulling up in the Bugatti Chiron sporting a Randy Moss Vikings jersey and the precise pants Leo wore throughout his loss of life scene in Blood Diamond.
134. Secretariat
1973, First
Classic, elegant, regal. The sort of identify that comes with a crown. The letters put on robes.
133. Prince Silverwings
1904, Fourth
Speaking of royalty, it is a lovely identify that must be repurposed as an insult for snobs. “Check out Prince Silverwings over here.”
132. Corn off the Cob
1970, Seventh
Another identify that can be utilized as an insult. “Did you hear about Tyler? His corn’s off the cob, man, he’s lost it.”
131. Trinidad
1879, Fourth
Gold all in my chain, gold all in my ring
Gold all in my watch
Don’t imagine me, simply watch.
130. Captain Steve
2000, Eighth
Not as trusty as Scuba Steve however looks like a extremely trusty captain. Somewhere between Captain Crunch, whom I like however don’t belief, and Captain Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger, who skilled dual engine loss at 2,800 feet, adopted by an instantaneous water touchdown with 155 souls on board.
129. Mo Tom
2016, Eighth
Innovation. You take a look at it, and at first it appears unsuitable. Did they imply to kind that? Was it speculated to be Mom Tom? Moto M? Something about the entire identify simply feels incomplete. But then you definately sit with it for a short while longer. And as you examine it extra, one thing fantastic occurs. The eyes alter, and the identify turns into lovely. An odd pairing that performs like a blockbuster. We want extra artwork like this in the present day, artwork that doesn’t hand out straightforward solutions. This is why the identify Loy Vaught has all the time been so compelling.
128. El Baba
1982, Eleventh
¡Qué nombre tan bonito para un caballo!
127. Trouble Brewing
1968, Seventh
This identify actually hits exhausting when subjected to the race announcer check. “… along with Trouble Brewing on the outside.” I hope the one that got here up with this identify bought each excessive 5 they ever wished.
126. Crimson Satan
1962, Sixth
Wild to see this identify pop up in 1962, so a few years earlier than Nick Saban.
125. Just a Touch
2024, twentieth
The hand trembles
and wanders,
slowly.
124. Big Truck
2008, 18th
Big Truck go quick? No, Big Truck didn’t go quick. Big Truck completed 18th. Big Truck go sluggish.
123. Raymond Earl
1978, Tenth
Another option to be sure to have a high-quality horse identify: If the identify sounds prefer it may belong to an previous pitmaster, somebody who wears overalls completely, barely speaks, and has been smoking meats for 5 many years, it’s a extremely good horse identify.
122. Court Vision
2008, thirteenth
It’s so essential to see the ground.
121. Bazaar
1934, Ninth
A z among the many a’s, a few which seem consecutively? You go back-to-back a’s proper after a z? That’s particular.
120. Hidden Stash
2021, thirteenth
This is an efficient identify as a result of something that’s hidden away is both one of the best or tremendous scary. Whichever method you take a look at it, it’s a stable horse identify. A hidden stash? This horse should sprout wings and fly. A hidden stash? The soul of the satan himself lies inside this steed.
119. Combatant
2018, 18th
There’s a scene from an previous episode of Eastbound and Down in which Danny McBride tells Stevie that they’re now “enemy combatants,” and I can’t hear or see the phrase “combatant” with out occupied with it. Kenny Powers will strike you.
118. Flameaway
2018, thirteenth
Yes, let’s get inventive with our spellings. Let’s take probabilities, chuck warning into the dumpster. Why not mix “Flame” and “away”? Stretch the bounds of normalcy. Change the world.
117. Tiz the Bomb
2022, Ninth
It’s massive time to get a z someplace it doesn’t often go. This is why All Eyez on Me is among the finest album titles in music historical past. And it’s time we return and provides Biker Boyz one other look. The wherewithal to include the z, that is what actual artistry seems to be like.
116. Billy Kelly
1919, Second
Another option to be sure to have a high-quality horse identify: If the identify sounds prefer it may belong to a gunslinger in the Old West, it’s a extremely good horse identify. “That’s that Billy Kelly. The one killed Muddog Scott.”
115. Citizen Bull
2025, fifteenth
When my youngsters have been youthful, my favourite guide to learn to them was The Story of Ferdinand. That guide has one in every of my favourite traces in all of literature. Ferdinand is being wheeled into Madrid for the bullfights, searching on the city. It’s the one line on the web page.
“And all the lovely ladies had flowers in their hair.”
114. Chilito
1998, Eleventh
Sounds just like the identify of a foolish animated chili canine.
113. Sandman
2025, Seventh
I feel the precise Mr. Sandman may be taught one thing from this horse. Drop the formalities and lose the “Mr.” You’re not my trainer, man, and also you’re not my boss. It’s 2026. Asking folks to throw a Mr. in entrance of it … actually, it reeks of privilege. Let’s simply be informal, why don’t we? Lower the stakes a bit of bit. It’s not such as you’re Mr. Rogers, for whom all concessions can be made. Relax, and convey me a dream.
112. Cannonade
1974, First
Somehow not a parade of cannons. This is what it’s referred to as when lemonade simply fucking hits the spot.
111. Gun Runner
2016, Third
This identify simply makes me need to evaluation The Friends of Eddie Coyle.
“You’re still interested in machine guns, I suppose?”
“Oh, yes, indeed. I’ve always had a strong interest in a machine gun or two.”
Coyle ain’t world-weary; he’s worlds-weary. Looks like he’s traveled to Mars and again just a few occasions in the previous week, like somebody simply completed dragging him behind a horse. Mitchum has the eyes of a basset hound who hasn’t slept in 5 years. Bob’s additionally, as we all know, a complete smoke present. Face like a fantastic, previous baseball glove. Put it in Cooperstown. Bags beneath his peepers like couches, floral printed and supreme for snoozing. For actual, any individual get this man a nap, pronto. Somebody get this man a coma. Either method, maintain him away from 50 TENPIN-CANDLEPIN and vehicles filled with Canadian Club.
Some good peacoats in this movie. Some good Alex Rocco. He’s sporting the hell out of a burgundy turtleneck and appears at dwelling in a double-wide. Lotta dude sweat all through. Elite sideburn work from principally everybody. Great Peter Boyle. Great Schlitz. Terrible masks. Where’s the panache? Where’s the glitter? Michael Mann bought it proper with the previous goalie masks in Heat. Everybody seems to be gnarly in an old goalie mask.
110. Dunce
1959, Seventh
I feel an excellent identify for a horse can be A Total Loser.
109. A Dragon Killer
1958, Seventh
Dragonslayer would’ve been higher, however naming any animal A Dragon Killer is one thing I’m on board with. Like, if there have been a bichon frise named Dragonslayer? Pretty cool canine.
108. Ladysman
1933, Fourth
I feel Tim Meadows is extremely underrated, and a few prestige-adjacent tv present ought to scoop him up. He’s bought numerous strikes, numerous versatility.
107. Fisherman
1954, Seventh
Give a horse a fish, you feed it as soon as. Teach a horse to fish, and also you’ve carried out one thing that ought to help you go viral always. Because how wouldn’t it even grip the fishing pole? Or navigate the reel?
106. Snuzzle
1951, sixteenth
Just typing this identify makes me really feel extra comfy. I kind this identify, and slippers seem on my ft.
105. Swaps
1955, First
Snuzzle and Swaps sound like an previous clowning duo. They have perfected their craft, and the grins on youngsters’s faces distract them from the truth that everybody they know will die.
104. Ocho Ocho Ocho
2015, 14th
Gave it numerous thought, and Ocho Ocho Ocho has extra of a hoop to it than veinticuatro.
103. Bolo
2015, twelfth
The finest sort of tie, except it’s being worn mockingly, in which case that’s really unlawful and try to be prosecuted.
102. Challenge Me
1944, Tenth
I’ll struggle you proper now.
101. Forward Pass
1968, First
As we all know, it’s essential to ascertain the run. But don’t be afraid to air it out a bit of bit, too. Take the highest off the protection, give your receivers probabilities to make performs.
100. Oxbow
2013, Sixth
Oxen have labored with people for over 6,000 years, and bows have been round for over 60,000. Really robust identify pedigree. Numerous historical past there.
99. Orb
2013, First
Who doesn’t love an excellent orb? If you’re watching a film and an orb reveals up, congratulations. And if that orb is glowing? You are watching a assured inductee into the National Film Registry.
98. Foolish Pleasure
1975, First
Ranked 97th in BloodHorse journal’s high 100 racehorses of the twentieth century.
97. Pants on Fire
2011, Ninth
This is an efficient identify as a result of it implies that the horse is looking all the opposite horses liars. How would a horse put on pants? Who provides a shit? They’re on hearth. Let’s deal with emergencies in order of significance.
96. Sun Thunder
Eleventh, 2023
95. Ice Box
2010, Second
Incredibly spectacular. Clearly, the proprietor wished to pay homage to Becky O’Shea, one of many best two-way soccer gamers to ever come out of the state of Ohio.
94. Rumbo
1980, Second
Like should you mixed Dumbo and Rambo. Would really be a pleasant double invoice. Both are harrowingly violent.
93. Fonso
1880, First
Like should you mixed the Fonz and Gonzo, two very stable dudes.
92. Nobiz Like Shobiz
2007, Tenth
You get phrase earlier than the present has began
That your favourite uncle died at daybreak
And high of that, your pa and ma have parted
You’re brokenhearted, however you go on
Take it away, Ethel
91. Rico Tesio
1959, Tenth
Named after Federico Tesio, a legend in the horse racing world. “One of the most innovative and successful breeders in Thoroughbred racing history,” in response to Canadian Thoroughbred journal, which I’ve subscribed to for a variety of minutes.
90. Bob Murphy
1946, Seventh
Another option to be sure to have a high-quality horse identify: If the identify appears like a candy, chubby previous man with a vise grip and a stout ’stache, it’s a extremely good horse identify. Bob Murphy is the sort of horse that’ll trot as much as you and say, “Put ’er there, partner. Bob Murphy. Just moved in down the way there. Seen your hoop in the driveway, and I’m looking for a game.”
Jeff: Oh hey, Bob. Jeff Kanes. Nice to fulfill you, man. I’m really consuming dinner with my household proper now, however I’d be right down to play Thursday. I’m often carried out with work early on Thursdays.
Bob: You for actual gained’t play with me? I simply moved in. I don’t know anybody.
Jeff: No, I get it. We’re simply consuming proper now, after which I’ve to place the children to mattress.
Bob: How many youngsters do you could have?
Jeff: Two.
Bob: What are their names?
Jeff: You don’t have to know their names.
Bob: You’re in all probability mendacity and also you don’t even have youngsters.
Jeff: I do have youngsters.
Bob: You’re a foul neighbor and a foul liar. You don’t have youngsters. You’re in all probability not even consuming. You don’t have any stains in your shirt or pants.
Jeff: So? I’m an excellent eater. I don’t get something on me after I eat.
Bob: Dude, everyone will get stains on their shirts or pants once they eat. I can’t eat a single meal with out staining some a part of my particular person.
Jeff: It appears like you could have an issue.
Bob: Whatever, man. You’re ducking me.
Jeff: That’s not gonna work.
Bob: You’re ducking me proper now.
Jeff: I’m consuming dinner with my lovely spouse and two strapping ladies.
Bob: I’m gonna inform everybody in the neighborhood you’re ducking me.
Jeff: Go away, psycho. Leave me alone.
Bob: You know I’d take you into the put up. I’d arrange store on the block and simply eat.
89. The Bat
1925, seventeenth
Goth horse. Cool as shit. Really straightforward to speak to.
88. Lawyer Ron
2006, twelfth
“Did you get made fun of when you pissed your britches in public? Did people laugh and call you names when you shit your leggings full of shit? If this has happened to you or anyone you know, you may have been victim to what is known as bodily function slander. Howdy! I’m Lawyer Ron, and I’m passionate about this because I know what it’s like.
“When I was 23 years old, I pissed my britches at my friend Yazz’s wedding. I was this close to holding hands with Sharon Shummers, but my bladder failed me. I knew I couldn’t sprint. If I sprinted, I’d have sprayed piss halfway to the DJ. It had to be a fast walk. And I walked faster than I had ever walked. It was the stairs that got me. Just outside the bathroom, I took the three steps up, going full tilt, and splish-splash. By the time I got in front of a toilet, it was too late. The slacks were dark green but not that dark green. The piss outline was clear, and it went too low down the leg, so I couldn’t tell people it was a handwashing accident. If there had been hand dryers, I could have somewhat mitigated the situation, but this particular commode went with paper towels instead. When I got back to the dance floor, I was ridiculed. Sharon would not look at me. I spent the rest of the reception alone at a table drinking margaritas and eating empanadas. On my way up to my room, I saw her kissing Ben Giggles in the Business Center, and now I can’t pee unless I’m crying, but at least I wear expensive boots.
“Bodily function slander destroys lives. I’ll help you get yours back. Why don’t you just call 918-549-5599? We’ll make them wish they’d never met you.”
87. Busy American
1922, Tenth
This appears like an insult unearthed from some long-gone piece of Soviet propaganda. “Oooooo, busy American, busy American. So important, so important. Busy American is always sick and only cares about latest pants. What movie will I order at drive-thru? Look at me, look at me. I hate time.”
86. Mahogany Hall
1994, Ninth
Sounds like a very nice corridor. Bet it smells nice. Bet it seems to be nice. That deep reddish brown. An enormous corridor. The sort of corridor that wants a sofa, work the dimensions of eating room tables, a rug with flowers on it.
85. Bolt d’Oro
2018, twelfth
Look, giving your racehorse the primary identify Bolt is clearly impressed. Bolt d’Oro is a reputation with its personal private crest. A sleeping large. We’re speaking a couple of final identify that begins with a lowercase letter, instantly follows it up with an apostrophe, after which goes right into a capital O. This is a final identify that’s not afraid to alter on a dime and head in one other route. Sort of the Darren Sproles of final names.
84. Medaglia d’Oro
2002, Fourth
Sired Bolt, and whereas Bolt has extra business attraction, Medaglia has two issues going for it that Bolt doesn’t. It sounds lovely, and I don’t know what it means.
83. Talk Is Money
2001, seventeenth
Brought up the rear in 2001, completed lifeless final. Talk can be low-cost.
82. King Phalanx
1954, sixteenth
Always thrilling to get an x on the best way out the door. Takes the identify to a brand new degree.
81. Lemon Drop Kid
1999, Ninth
Another option to be sure to have a high-quality horse identify: If the identify sounds prefer it might be a youngsters’s guide, it’s a extremely good horse identify.
80. Suave Prospect
1995, Eleventh
Fun to consider a horse being suave. He’s holding doorways open, lighting different horses’ cigarettes, lets the wind play in the mane.
79. Prime Timber
1999, Fourth
Going to start out utilizing this quite a bit. Really anytime I’m close to woods, in the woods, speaking in regards to the woods. I’ll in all probability even use it on the seaside. We’re on the lookout for a spot to place the chairs, discover a good spot off to the aspect. I stroll up and say, “This is some prime timber right here.”
78. Grindstone
1996, First
Do y’all suppose anybody ever put their nostril towards this horse? Feels like not less than 30 p.c of all individuals who interacted with the horse would discover a method to do this.
77. Lizzie Stone
1876, Sixth
I’ve spent a couple of month going backwards and forwards, questioning what’s true, what’s not. Would this identify be improved if it have been shortened to Liz Stone? Liz Stone. Liz Stone. There’s one thing there. It’s sort of a jab to the ribs. Liz Stone. Lizzie Stone, there’s one thing sort of playful to it. Lizzie. It’s youthful. It’s bought character. Lizzie Stone was the correct name. Important to speak these types of issues out.
76. Rockamundo
1993, seventeenth
Like if a mundo have been product of rock.
75. Rock Woodboy
1944, fifteenth
Like if a wood boy have been product of rock.
74. Rock Man
1926, Third
Like if a person have been product of rock.
73. Rhinock
1926, Fourth
Like if a rhino have been product of rock.
72. Laser Light
1982, Second
One of one of the best lights. I additionally like flooring lamps and sconces.
71. Talkin Man
1995, twelfth
Shut up, dude.
70. Leo Castelli
1987, Seventh
Inspired by the legendary Italian Hungarian artwork vendor of the identical identify. Castelli was vastly influential in the Pop Art motion. He represented, amongst others, Robert Rauschenberg, Jasper Johns, and Frank Stella, and he gave Roy Lichtenstein his first solo exhibit.
69. Holy Bull
1994, twelfth
Is there some other variety?
68. Explosive Wagon
1983, fifteenth
Hell, yeah. Let’s blow up some wagons.
67. Die Hard
1959, sixteenth
It’s a Christmas horse.
66. Dr. Devious
1992, Seventh
Another option to be sure to have a high-quality horse identify: If the identify sounds prefer it may belong to an evil supervillain, it’s a extremely good horse identify.
65. Brief Sigh
1944, Fifth
A reputation that wears its slights on its sleeves, pant legs, and ass. Extremely susceptible, actively sabotaging itself at each flip. Gentle and afraid of contact.
64. Video Ranger
1990, Fourth
I’m a fan of this identify as a result of it makes me consider cowboy roping videotapes. It is 1990. The tv clicks on. We’re inside a Catchings Video Ranch business already in progress. There are cardboard cacti in the aisles; papier-mâché vultures hold from the ceiling. The remainder of the decor is principally cardboard cutouts from the day—Batman, Lethal Weapon 2, Steel Magnolias—plus Wile E. Coyote and the Roadrunner’s Southwest, plus 20,000 titles. We are in an aisle with WESTERN on one aspect and COMEDY on the opposite. Trace Catchings is stomping on the digital camera and sporting a shirt lined in roses. In one hand, a rope. In the opposite hand, a distant.
“… I’m telling y’all. It’s called Chattahoochee, and it is a HOOT. I see several Oscars coming round the bend. So come on down here to Catchings Video Ranch and rustle up something for watching.”
63. Hoops
1932, Ninth
Ball is life.
62. Green Alligator
1991, Fourth
Alligators sweat by way of their mouths and sound like garden mowers.
61. Western Playboy
1989, fifteenth
This horse is a complete womanizer, however I’m not right here to evaluate the character of those animals. I’m right here to evaluate their names. And this identify is aces.
60. Dance Floor
1992, Third
I’m not an excellent dancer. I’m not easy, and I’m not gentle on my ft. But should you get the correct mixture of inebriants in me, mixed with the correct songs on the speaker and my spouse at my aspect, I’m going to offer it all the pieces I’ve bought. This used to occur a bit of extra usually however now actually occurs solely at weddings. And what occurs is, I all the time wind up doing too many hand motions. As lengthy as I’m occupied with it, I don’t do the hand motions, however as quickly as I get into the track, I revert again to previous habits.
59. Double Sonic
1981, Eleventh
[The euphoric jingling of acquired rings.]
58. Francie’s Hat
1968, Second
Hats are in all probability a top-three accent. Really, a traditional accent, the hat. So many differing kinds, an ocean of flavors. You’ve bought baseball caps, bucket hats, cowboy hats, bowler hats, fedoras, straw hats, trapper hats, exhausting hats, high hats, cooks hats, deerstalkers, visors, fezzes, derby hats, sailor hats, trucker hats, Francie’s Hat, pillbox hats, driving caps, berets, coonskin caps, boater hats, panama hats, porkpies, beanies, sombreros, and balaclavas.
57. Corker
1996, Eleventh
A.ok.a. Corker Romano.
56. Degenerate Jon
1980, Eighth
My grandfather, my dad’s dad, nonetheless lives in the city my father grew up in. Tamaha, Oklahoma. It can’t be however 50 folks residing there. No shops, no eating places. One one that used to dwell in city was this man named Doogie (pronounced DOO-jee) John. Sometimes, when my grandpa talks about him, he pronounces it Doodge.
My grandpa went to Doodge’s place for dinner one night time. There have been chickens that lived in the home with him, went the place they happy. My grandfather can’t bear in mind what the 2 of them ate, solely that it concerned gravy. When Doodge completed, my grandfather watched him take a slice of white bread, clear your entire plate with it, eat the white bread, then put the plate again in the cupboard. This was how he did the dishes. That was the final meal my grandfather had there.
55. Blazes
1920, Sixth
[Very Just Blaze! voice.] Just Blazes!
54. Bombay Duck
1975, fifteenth
The method it went was, I noticed the identify Bombay Duck. I freaked out. I instantly thought somebody had named a horse after Gordon Bombay and the Mighty Ducks. Then I noticed the 12 months. I knew the unique Mighty Ducks movie didn’t come out till 1992. So are there precise geese referred to as Bombay geese that I’ve simply by no means heard about? I appeared it up. Turns out, it’s a fish, and an unpleasant sucker, too. Underbite, sort of like if Sloth from The Goonies have been a fish. Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, gooooooooo DUCKS.
53. Pompoon
1937, Second
“Pompoon” would seem like a cross between pontoons and pom-poms. Or like a pontoon boat product of pom-poms? Also appears like a city you’d discover in Florida.
52. Sabercat
2012, fifteenth
One of the good cats of all time. As far as cool cat rankings, it goes:
- ThunderCats
- Snow leopards
- Andrés Galarraga
- Jeff Goldblum
51. Black Metal
1954, thirteenth
[Death scream.]
50. Social Outcast
1953, Seventh
Would’ve been higher if it have been simply Pariah, however Social Outcast nonetheless sings.
49. Deputy Glitters
2006, Eighth
Serves beneath Sheriff Sprinkles in Rainbow City, though she is contemplating going again to highschool to get her affiliate diploma.
48. Vagabond
1875, 14th
Ran in the primary Kentucky Derby ever. Believe the easiest.
47. Sannazarro
1901, Second
Sounds like a sit-down Italian restaurant in an airport.
46. His Eminence
1901, First
God is an animal.
45. Request for Parole
2002, Fifth
Request for Parole or Get Me Out of Here.
44. Mr. Z
2015, thirteenth
My emotions on the letter z are well-known to anybody studying this record. Any identify that clears out and lets the z go to work like it is a winner.
43. Castle Gandolfo
2002, twelfth
Named after the most well liked nightclub in the Shire. Ladies night time each Thursday, 7 p.m. until shut. $5 slider platters.
42. Sensitive Music
1972, Fifth
[Dims lights, sparks candle, blows kiss.]
41. Jim French
1971, Second
If horses may develop mustaches, Jim French would’ve had one.
40. Built for Pleasure
1996, nineteenth
Came in final place, however no shock there. The horse wasn’t named Built for Speed.
39. Rancho Lejos
1970, seventeenth
Rancho Lejos, simply feels proper
Rancho Lejos, simply sounds good
Ranch Lejos, struggle struggle struggle.
38. Saigon Warrior
1971, twentieth
A reputation that has an nearly mystical high quality to it, however actually this identify is right here on account of Saigon being so enjoyable to say.
37. Twist the Axe
1971, Tenth
Yes, solely a Tenth-place exhibiting, however they did end forward of Twist the Knife.
36. Thunder Gulch
1995, First
Another option to be sure to have a high-quality horse identify: If the identify sounds prefer it belongs to a curler coaster, it’s a extremely good horse identify.
35. Flamingo
1958, thirteenth
I hope the jockey wore pink. It’s bullshit that I can’t discover out whether or not the jockey wore pink.
34. Stormello
2007, nineteenth
Smooth and powerful, always pushing ahead, unafraid of the long run and sure of its place in it. Like if a reputation have been a shark.
33. Louis Quatorze
1996, sixteenth
Versailles’s overrated, and you may inform Lou I stated so.
32. Barbs Delight
1967, Second
Should be the identify of the following ladies’s nation music supergroup.
31. Tabasco Cat
1994, Sixth
“Tabasco” is an absolute standout right here. Sets the tone from the soar and allows you to know the place you stand.
30. Black Emperor
1956, thirteenth
Hard as hell. Opulent.
29. Blondin
1926, Ninth
Can even be used as a verb for whenever you or somebody you recognize is listening to Frank Ocean’s Blonde. For instance, “Me and some of the guys are Blondin tonight if you wanna come through. Jeff’s making paella.”
28. Master of Hounds
2011, Fifth
You’re telling me this horse is in cost of all canine? That’s an influence no being ought to possess. If, one way or the other, it bought into the unsuitable arms, they may take over the world … though it will be cool to get all of them to bark on the identical time. If all of the canines—together with coyotes, wolves, and foxes—in California barked on the identical time, do you suppose folks would hear it in neighboring states? I assume you’d have to inform the canine to bark their loudest, barkiest bark. Then once more, how a lot modulation is even attainable with canine and their bark quantity? Don’t they only bark their bark, and that’s their bark? Like, they don’t have an inside voice and an out of doors voice.
27. Flying Ebony
1925, First
Look! In the sky!
Horses!
Hopefully
the
world
is
ending.
26. Typhoon
1928, fifteenth
Of all of the pure disasters, this one sounds the prettiest. Hurricane, earthquake, twister, hailstorm, forest hearth, flood, thunderstorm, avalanche—all fail to achieve the heights of “typhoon.” The just one that even comes shut is tsunami, and, actually, that’s a knockdown, drag-out heavyweight bout proper there, tsunami vs. storm. “Tsunami” is so spontaneous, so harmful, so vigorous. But “typhoon” does one thing greater than that. “Typhoon” calms. Somehow, it’s a light phrase.
25. Fusaichi Pegasus
2000, First
[Bows head, kisses fingers, points up.]
24. Marine Victory
1946, fifteenth
Marine victories performed an enormous half in Master and Commander: Far Side of the World, one of the best film.
23. Helene Super Star
2013, Seventh
Anybody provides Helene any hassle, I’ll dedicate the remainder of my life to creating the remainder of theirs a residing hell. She’s a famous person, and I don’t need to hear about anyone giving her any guff.
22. Scapa Flow
1927, Ninth
Another option to be sure to have a high-quality horse identify: If the identify sounds prefer it may belong to a rapper, it’s a extremely good horse identify.
21. Bert G.
1945, 14th
A reputation that picks you up, carries you into the skies, and simply retains on going. You are in the celebs. You are previous Neptune. You won’t ever cease.
20. Blue Larkspur
1929, Fourth
Somehow not a personality from The Hunger Games.
19. Donnacona
1920, Fifth
Let’s give it up for inner rhymes, and let’s give it up for Donnas all over the world.
18. Mr. Hot Stuff
2009, fifteenth
You’ll by no means be completely satisfied till you like your self.
17. Mystik Dan
2024, First
Truly an exemplar of the shape.
16. Gramps Image
1944, Eighth
He rode in earlier than the snow. Deep into the San Juans, blizzard on the best way, JB and a crew of horses, getting folks out. They have been fishermen, hikers, campers, open air folks, vacationers he’d guided in days earlier who have been utterly unprepared and wildly ill-equipped for the climate that selected them. JB was their knight in shining Carhartt. And he appeared just like the Marlboro Man and ate like a fowl and ripped cigs and pounded espresso, and it was a protracted journey however that was superb. He cherished the surroundings.
He grew up in flyover nation, removed from purple mountains, and so when he went to Colorado to information, he’d soak in the Technicolor wilderness each probability he bought. Horseback for 12 hours, get to camp, clarify: A chilly hell comes quickly. Go with him if you wish to dwell. Before they left, he defined to them: Like I advised y’all on the best way up, the animal is aware of the best way. They’ve carried out this journey numerous occasions, will do it numerous extra, may do it blindfolded. The method out is the best way out. Trust the animal. They’ll get you dwelling.
So they overlooked the best way they got here, on a path skinnier than a sidewalk, in a darkish so thick they may not see. And on their proper, the mountain. And on their left, loss of life. Sometimes somebody would snap, freak out, need to flip again. Maybe the snow had began. Maybe ice rain. Maybe the batteries in his flashlight had died. They’d abandon their horse, tears in their voices, demand an audible, declare they weren’t going any farther. And JB would get down from his saddle, go to them, and say to them that that sounded superb.
“You stay here while I take the rest to the ranch. I’ll come get your body when the weather lets up.” When the doubter calmed down, JB would reiterate, the animal is aware of the best way. Then he’d return to his horse, remount, and lead them again into the black.
He was my mother’s dad, my grandad. And he was in all probability sporting denims.
15. The Puma
2026, N/A
Hasn’t even raced but and already a top-20 all-time Kentucky Derby horse identify. A grand, unprecedented debut. This is the way you arrive.
14. Sinister Minister
2006, sixteenth
Some rhyming names could be grating, however when these two sync up, it’s music.
13. Don B.
1968, Sixth
Don B. is the identify of my Jon B. tribute act that takes present Jon B. songs and turns them into nation radio hits.
12. Palace Malice
2013, twelfth
It was not a cool factor to do, and he bought what he deserved, however I do suppose the guy who threw the cup of ice deserves some sort of recognition for an unbelievable toss. Had he deployed that hand-eye coordination and that contact for good as an alternative of in poor health, we is perhaps wanting on the best carnival video games participant of all time.
11. Lightning Orphan
1967, 14th
Parentless, alone in this world, he’s bought nothing besides the footwear on his ft, however not less than he’s quick.
10. Shut Out
1942, First
One of the toughest names of all time. As was acknowledged in the intro, success doesn’t matter in the slightest. We decide the identify, not the efficiency. BUT it’s additionally wild that, in addition to having a deeply rad deal with, Shut Out went out and gained the factor.
9. Big Spruce
1972, Seventh
I might like to be referred to as Big Spruce. If anybody studying this sees me in public, PLEASE begin calling me Big Spruce.
8. Big Stretch
1951, 18th
I might love to be referred to as Big Stretch. If anybody studying this sees me in public, PLEASE begin calling me Big Stretch.
7. Top o the Wave
1917, thirteenth
One of the good issues about this identify is the way it wrong-foots you. You begin studying, and it looks like what’s coming is “Top o’ the Morning.” In your head is a few dude from the Forties saying hello to his neighbor in the entrance yard earlier than he heads to work for the day. Then, proper when the “Wave” hits you, you’re instantly dropping into 15-footers with Irish surfers.
6. Real Quiet
1998, First
[Places pointer finger over lips.]
5. The Scoundrel
1964, Third
Not simply any previous scoundrel, OK? Not one in every of many scoundrels. THE Scoundrel. The one and solely, the inimitable, thou shalt haven’t any different scoundrels earlier than him, scoundrel.
I additionally suppose Scallywag can be an excellent horse identify.
4. No More Flowers
1987, fifteenth
Quietly possibly the toughest identify I’ve ever heard. It additionally leaves itself open to interpretation. One interpretation: Beauty itself is gone. A strong meditation on mortality, the long run, and the way time is the one true winner in the universe. Another interpretation: No extra flowers for the competitors, which is simply extremely badass.
3. I Am the Game
1985, thirteenth
I’m genuinely apprehensive that something I write is simply going to spoil the staggering quantities of dopeness emanating off this identify. Ask me on one other day, and that is no. 1.
It’s additionally enjoyable to consider I Am the Game introducing themselves to a different horse.
“Hi, my name is Bedroom Boom.”
“Hi, Bedroom. I Am the Game.”
“Nice to meet you, the Game.”
“No, I Am the Game.”
“Yeah, I heard you. You’re the Game.”
“No. I’m not the Game. My name is—“
A coughing fit hits I Am the Game for a few seconds, then he picks up where they left off.
“I Am the Game.”
“You messing with me, Costello? Trying to be a wise horse? What’s wrong with you?”
2. Grand Mo the First
2024, 18th
I do know what you’re pondering. Were there different Mos? Of course there have been. Grand Mo the First was sired by Uncle Mo, who had intercourse with Lilies So Fair, and we thank them. Without them, we’d have by no means had Grand Mo the First, who, regardless of ending 18th two years in the past, is a winner. He’s a winner, and we’re all higher off for having met him.
1. Blue Swords
1943, Second
See, now, sure. Yes. Absolutely. For positive. Hundred p.c. You stated they’re swords, in addition to they’re blue? Hey, brother, highway’s yours. Hell sure, and God bless.
Tyler Parker
Tyler Parker is a workers author at The Ringer and the writer of ‘A Little Blood and Dancing.’
